A Mad Tea Party

Breakfast time at our house resembles nothing more than the Mad Hatter's tea party from Alice in Wonderland.

In this image, Alice has joined a tea party already in progress. Three companions (us!) are arguing and kvetching and acting absurd (like we do!) around a large table with many chairs (like ours!). Without warning (how familiar!), one of them (Nathan!) decides that he has made too much of a mess at his place (dripping milk, wet Cheerios!) and wants a fresh start.

“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter: “let’s all move one place on.”

He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.

You see, one of my greatest failings as a mother is evident at mealtimes. The boys are not allowed to put their feet or their bottoms on the table, and they can't throw food or swear, but those are pretty much the only rules. I don't provide place mats, set a proper table, make the boys sit up straight, teach them which fork is which, or even make them use a fork at all most of the time. Perhaps, in time, I will.

I can't remember when we learned table manners at my house growing up -- we did learn them in a basic sense, in that I know which utensils belong on which side of a plate, where to put a napkin, where to put a cup. I know just enough to know that I don't know how to do it properly. And with children our kids' ages, and with a table as large as ours, it doesn't make sense to ask them to hold still, or sit with their feet hanging down toward the floor -- the table comes up to their chin, and they have to climb up into the chairs. They spill drinks, drop food, laugh and argue, and it's as much as I can manage to get them to eat some of their food without also harping on their posture.

Maybe in a few years I'll have the energy and willingness to make a game out of table manners. We can learn together, it'll be fun! But for now, at our table, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.